Silly Old Bear

My oldest is nine and a half.  I remember being 9 1/2.  I do have some memories earlier than that, but fourth grade...school, friends, summer camp...the memories are more real.  Know what I mean?  Playing at recess, learning to spell Library (an "a"? in lieberry?), riding our bikes to school and pretending they were horses, making forts in the forsythia bushes (complete with kitchen, bath, bedrooms and a horse stable), my mom screaming at us before church on Christmas Eve, learning how to ski - fun stuff like that. When I think about that - my son will have pretty accurate memories of life now - its a bit scary.  

It's like being a teenage babysitter and hearing about nanny-cam for the first time.  "I'm being graded on this?!   Someone can actually play back the tape??"  It's not like I locked the kids in the closet with a box of Ho-Ho's while I skimmed vodka from the liquor cabinet and watched porn while I was babysitting, but, um, what time was bedtime?  And you did say I could call my friends, right?  And no, I was not sleeping when you came home, I was meditating. (That said, I was an EXCELLENT babysitter - the kind of babysitter I wish I could find for my kids (yes, I see the irony).

A secret camera hidden in the house?  I think it would make Mother Theresa sweat - "Oh look! Blessed be!  A teddy bear!  All the way from the Vadican!  I knew they'd remember my birthday!  So very very thoughtful of ...um, wait a sec...is that at a ??? a camera?  No, no, they would never.... In the gosh darn bear??  WAIT!  Shoot and sugar on a busicut - did I...did I just pick my nose?  No, no, no, no, I didn't pick my nose, it was just an itch, nothing wrong with that...but...oh oh oh, my goodness,  jiminy crickets, would you look at that...how did that french manicure get on my nails???   I mean, I do speak french, but I would never...did you do that Mr. Bear?  Silly old, cute little bear?  I must have fallen asleep and someone played at trick...or maybe, yes - I must be working my fingers so hard that they have discolored themselves, yes, just worked to the bone!" (beaches and dreams bone-white and spring's blush of pink, actually) 

My nine and a half year old can now "play back the tape" and blackmail me.  I know you know what I mean.  And by the way, I put stuffed animals on high shelves before a babysitter comes over.